FOODHYPE: Gluttony As A Spectacle

If you've been watching any ESPN2 lately, you might be wondering why something as patently ridiculous as competitive eating edges out real sports like bowling, darts, and rugby in the contest for airtime. Personally, I think it's because the Yoo-nited States is overflowing (or should I say over-hanging) with fat bastards.

Check out some of these gluttonous exploits from competitions sponsored by the IFOCE (International Federation of Competitive Eating).

My favorite highlights:

• 6 Pounds of Baked Beans (1 minute, 48 seconds)
• 1.75 Pounds of Salted Butter (5 minutes)
• 212 Chicken & Vegetable Gyoza (10 minutes)
• 1 Gallon of Mayonnaise (8 minutes)

There's not much to add to that, except that the other records are just as impressive... I really hope these peeple have a good cardiologist!

POLITICSHYPE: Waterboarding: Probably Not Fun!

In light of what's happening these days, this may be quite informative. It's a video showing somebody being subjected to a waterboarding.

Link: http://www.salon.com/opinion/walsh/politics/2007/11/01/bleh/index.html

The subject of waterboarding is brought up every now and again. In fact, it was an answer to one of the Jeopardy-style questions at a local pub quiz (or trivia night) at a bar in San Francisco.

Make your own judgements as to whether or not this interrogation technique is appropriate and has a place in the world today and/or in The War Against Terror (T.W.A.T), but this video appears to be a pretty accurate depiction of waterboarding.

NOHYPE: Hello? Is This Thing Working?

Apparently, it is.

We expect to see some more hype here shortly.

POLITICSHYPE: A Casus Belli For Iran

Iran, having been pressured by the international financial community at the behest of various agencies of the US Government, has decided to make a move. The story below is the latest example of a trend that's been increasingly more common nowadays, which is this: oil-producing countries deciding to sell their oil in a currency other than dollars for whatever reason (hostility towards the United States is a good example).

Saddam tried this tactic, and shortly afterwards was shocked and awed (supposedly), and then whacked (definitely). Of course, oil had nothing whatsoever to do with the US decision to invade Iraq - at least, not in the way it's commonly understood. Had Saddam sold Iraqi oil in Euros, it would have been a slap to the back of the sack for the United States, and encouraged more countries to follow suit.

However, fundamental economic weaknesses cannot be shored up by military dominance and cultural hegemony forever. The increasing acceptance of the Euro as a central bank reserve currency, combined with the huge holdings of dollar-denominated government debt (i.e., US Treasury bonds) in China and Japan, will continue to pressure the US dollar and encourage further moves like the one Iran has just made. Reuters has more:

Iran Slashes Oil Transactions In Dollars
(Copyright Reuters, 2007-10-02)

Iran has slashed the use of the dollar in payment for its oil exports to 15 percent, an official said on Tuesday, amid growing pressure from arch-foe the United States on its financial system. The vast majority of transactions for oil from OPEC's number two producer are now being carried out in euros, said Mohammad-Ali Khatibi, deputy head of the National Iranian Oil Company in charge of marketing.

"Iran is selling about 85 percent of its oil in the non-dollar currencies," Khatibi was quoted as saying by state television. "Currently, about 65 percent of the oil sale income is in euros and 20 percent in yen," Khatibi added. Japan, which purchases 20 percent of Iran's crude oil, has recently agreed to pay for the crude oil in yen, he said. He also said that the remaining sums being paid in dollars, about 15 percent, are going to shift to "other creditworthy currencies". Khatibi also cited the United Arab Emirates dirham as one other possible currency for use in oil transactions.

He said the main reason for the move was fluctuations of the dollar on the currency markets and the depreciation of its value since 2004. Iran had previously announced that 60 percent of its oil transactions for export had been switched into euros.

Nobody is accusing the Aryan Brown of being stupid! Iran knows that the US is not in the strongest ecomonic position at the moment, and will only benefit from Iranian Euro-denominated oil. They also get to thumb their noses at the Americans, which must be a nice domestic political bonus for their leaders.

Another previous anti-dollar move that Iran has made was proposing an oil bourse (bourse is the French/international word for exchange) denominated in Euros. That may or may not be worth a war, as this opposing viewpoint explains.

Iran, the world's fourth largest oil exporter, has massively cut down its dependence on the dollar in the face of US pressures. The United States has been seeking to make international banking transactions harder for Iran, as another tool to pressure Tehran into backing down over its controversial nuclear programme. Several European banks have drastically cut business with Iran as a result of US pressure.

The only European banks that have cut ties with Iran are ones that do business in the US. If they have a branch office anywhere in America, their business activities in the States can be sanctioned. Many banks in Europe (especially smaller ones that don't have operations in the US and therefore can't be pressured) are now benefitting from the artificially-increased Iranian demand for their services.

However despite problems with inflation and unemployment at home, Iran's conomy is being helped by revenue windfalls from current high crude oil prices. Iran's foreign currency reserves held in banks abroad have risen by 37 percent over the past year to the equivalent of 65 billion dollars as of the end of June 2007, the central bank said in September.

So... to sum up, poor (or deliberate, if you prefer to see it that way) economic management in the USA can lead to a weaker dollar, which strengthens the Euro, which can encourage oil-producing countries to sell their black gold in Euros, which will generally strengthen their economies, which can (theoretically) do serious damage to the US economy, can lead to them being bombed.

In addition to the link above, here's another excellent, if somewhat polemic, piece on why the US will go to war to protect the petrodollar. And keep in mind that lot of the stuff you have been and probably will be hearing about Iran is just fluff - it's all about the money.

SPORTSHYPE: Bonds Dropped By Giants - Good Riddance To Bad Rubbish!

Not all of us are Barry Bonds Supporters like the rest of the lemmings. Some of us don't appreciate a lack of hustle (especially in the 6th game of the world series) or the stories we hear about how Bonds used to have a leather La-Z-Boy in the middle of the team locker room.

At least one other person shares those views - to wit, Marc Ecko's suggestion to brand Bonds' 756th home run ball with an asterisk before giving it to the Hall of Fame (this writer supports that idea wholeheartedly). Bonds apparently didn't like that - Barry called Mr. Ecko "stupid" and "an idiot" among other things. Hey Barry - SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!


As further proof that good news comes in spurts, it's now been revealed that Barry Bonds will no longer be playing for the Giants next year. He was waived. Cut. Canned. Fired. Whacked. Let go. Axed. Pink-slipped. Terminated (with extreme prejudice, hopefully). Laid off. Downsized. Rightsized. Smartsized. Strategically re-aligned. Determined not economically viable. Made redundant. Deemed surplus to requirements. Eliminated. Uninstalled. Decruited. Destaffed. Deselected. Reduced in force.

Whichever euphemism you prefer (and here are some good ones for loosing a job), this is a good thing - it should have happened a lot earlier, and the Giants should have kept Will Clark instead of Bonds back in 1993. And if good news really does come in sets of three, maybe (hopefully) the last piece in this set will be a headline about Bonds being hit by a Muni Bus.

However, this may be a miscalculation on the part of the Giants owners - do they really think Pacbell Park will be sold out next season if the Giants are 19 games out of first at the bottom of the National League West?

Reuters has more:

Record Breaker Bonds to Leave Giants
(Copyright 2007 Reuters)

Home run record holder Barry Bonds, the biggest name in baseball, will leave the San Francisco Giants at the end of this season, the player said on Friday.
Bonds said on his personal website that the Giants had told him he would not be playing for them in 2008 but added he intended to continue in the game.

"Yesterday (Thursday), I was told by the Giants that they will not be bringing me back for the 2008 season. During the conversation with (Giants owner) Peter McGowan I was told that my play this year far exceeded any expectations the Giants had, but that the organization decided this year would be my last season in San Francisco," said Bonds, who has been with the Giants since 1993.

"Although I am disappointed, I've always said baseball is a business -- and I respect their decision. However, I am saddened and upset that I was not given an earlier opportunity to properly say goodbye to you, my fans, and celebrate with the city throughout the season as I truly believe this was not a last-minute decision by the Giants, but one that was made some time ago," he added.

Damn straight, Barry, they were only pimping you out to the fans until you broke that record (by hook or by crook). Now that you're done, you're outta here! Nobody likes prima donnas with fake tits, understand?

Bonds hit his 756th homer, beating Hank Aaron's Major League Baseball record, in the Giants' game against the Washington Nationals on August 7. However, the record has been surrounded by controversy because many baseball fans suspect Bonds, 43, may not have spoken truthfully when denying steroid use. Bonds remains under investigation as to whether he lied about past steroid use to the grand jury in the BALCO sports doping case.

The slugger said on Friday that he intended to continue in the game with another team. "I would have loved nothing more than to retire as a Giant in the place where I call home and have shared so many momentous moments with all of you, but there is more baseball in me and I plan on continuing my career. My quest for a World Series ring continues," he added.

Hey putz, maybe you could have had one in 2002 if you hadn't leisurely jogged over to the left-field foul line while watching an easily catchable ball drop in front of you! That would have pretty much been the end of Game 6, the Angels' Rally Monkey never would have appeared, and you'd have your precious ring. Never mind about how the team did, it's all about you, isn't it? If you can't be bothered to hustle in the World Series, when the hell can you be?

Bonds, who now has a career total of 762 home runs, played this season on a one-year contract which the Giants said was worth $15.8 million, with potential incentives of another $4 million.

Despite his contributions, the Giants have endured a difficult season and went into Friday's games bottom of the National League's West Division with a 67-86 record.

Once again, it's all about Barry Bonds. I'm reminded of the teamwork speech given by Al Capone/Robert De Niro in The Untouchables.

Good-bye, Barry Bonds, and thanks for nothing! Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out of town!

SPORTSHYPE: Rugby World Cup

Those of you who are watching your American football or whatever, just don't get it: the ultimate territory sport is rugby. Bar none.

Until you've witnessed the terrifying spectacle of England's Lawrence Dallaglio (see pic below -- though he's now well past his prime, still horrific), the majesty and passion of the New Zealand All Blacks haka (another cool haka youtubed below) , and the ineffable skills of Ireland's Brian O' Driscoll, you really have not seen the zenith of sport.

Dallaglio



Brian O'Driscoll Tribute


All Blacks Haka v Australia- 30/06/07

Well, this is the year for the World Cup of Rugby. The top teams in the world are competing (NOW, in France) for the Webb Ellis Cup. And our very own US Eagles are more competitive than ever before (though they certainly won't get out of their first-round Group A). Do yourself a favor. Be patient, figure it out, and enjoy the mayhem, the competition, the sheer mad chaos of rugby. It's like Braveheart with a ball!

Hey Cacetudo, you could probably do this better than me!

Setanta Sports Rugby Webcasts
World Rugby Shop

SPORTSHYPE: Marco Belinelli's Blog

Check him out: Marco Belinelli -- EuroLeague superstar and Warriors first round pick. Man, Is it November yet?!?



It's My Life

Posted by Marco Belinelli on September 11, 2007, 5:10 p.m. ET

This has been very busy summer for me, playing NBA Summer League in Las Vegas to now the European championships in Spain. Playing in Las Vegas gave me a lot of confidence because I played very good in my first game when I scored 37 points. All the games were very important because I know the NBA style of basketball is different than European. In Italy and Europe, it's much different physically and mentally from American basketball. I am a person who likes to work and I think I have to improve. I have to improve my offense and defense. But I like to play. It's my life.

It would be a dream for Italy to win the European Championships. It is very important to play for my country because I am Italian and I want to play with the players on this team like Bargnani, Basile, and Soragna. Bargnani is very good player. Last year he couldn't play with the national team because he was the top overall pick in the draft. Playing for your country is especially important to European players. There is a lot of pride to wear the colors of your country on your uniform. There are so many teams in this tournament that are very good, like Greece, Spain and Lithuania. Some teams have one, two, even five players like Spain, who are playing in the NBA. These players want to play for their country. The Finals MVP Tony Parker is playing for France while the regular season MVP, Dirk Nowitzki, plays for the German National Team. Nowitzki is incredible, now especially, because he is MVP of the NBA. Now he is the top scorer in the European championship.

I started playing on high level for Italy last year in the World Championships in Japan. Playing against the U.S. and LeBron and Wade was my most memorable basketball moment. That game changed my life because I score 25 points. We lost, but that is a game I remember especially. But before last year, I played on Italy's under-20 national team.

In this tournament we haven't played really good. We won only two games against Poland and Turkey. But this team has a great coach, Carlo Recalcati, and for me and the team, it's important to play together. And for European players, it's one of the best experiences you can can have as a basketball player.

POLITICSHYPE: No Black Sheep Is No Big Deal

Previously we brought you news of Switzerland's No Black Sheep campaign, which was criticized by many as racist, insensitive, demeaning, etc. Let's ignore for the moment the fact that there is an increasing problem with immigrant crime in Switzerland. One way or another, the Ausschaffung campaign appears to be accomplishing its mission, which is probably less about kicking out immigrant criminals than it is about generating coverage for the Swiss People's Party in the media, thereby increasing the chances that their boys and girls get elected (imagine, them doing that on purpose right before an election).

Well, it seems like everybody has to get into the act. The United Nations' anti-racism czar, Doudou Diène, put in his two cents. European political scientists have also been looking at this issue closely, and a leading Swiss observer in the UK has rebutted claims by at least one British paper that Switzerland is Europe's new "Heart of Darkness". The horror!

Wait a minute, if they were the heart of Darkness, wouldn't they be kicking out the white sheep?

Swissinfo has more (this is only an excerpt, here's the full story):

British Analyst Assesses "Black Sheep" Row
Copyright 2007 Swissinfo

Foreign coverage of the rightwing Swiss People's Party's provocative campaign and immigration plans is unlikely to dent Switzerland's reputation, says an expert.

Clive Church, a leading writer on Swiss affairs, said recent articles in the British press failed to give a full picture of national political debate in which differing views are in "increasingly militant collision".

Switzerland's biggest political party has come under fire both at home and abroad for a controversial election campaign, which has been accused of being racist. Posters show three white sheep kicking a black sheep over the Swiss border with the caption "Create security".

The black sheep posters underpin a People's Party initiative to expel foreign criminals, which was launched on August 1 – Swiss National Day – three months ahead of October's parliamentary elections.

On Friday the United Nations' special rapporteur on racism, Doudou Diène, called on the People's Party to withdraw the controversial election poster.

He warned that the poster would only provoke racial and religious hatred. The Swiss authorities say it is up to the courts to decide.

swissinfo: Is Switzerland really Europe's "Heart of Darkness", as one British newspaper claimed on its front page?

Clive Church: I think that's rather exaggerated and overlooks the electoral statistics. The implication is that the whole nation is gripped by these views, but the reality is you have a very divided country and a furious battle, with a minority – a very big one in Swiss terms – fighting to establish itself ahead of the [October] elections.

Rather than seeing Switzerland as a country that has already succumbed to racism, you have to see it as a country engaged in a very bitter political battle fought out in a style which 20 years ago would have been unthinkable in Switzerland.

The problem for other parties is that the People's Party has changed its political style and become much more aggressive; it has shown itself much more adept in the media age.

swissinfo: Do the actions of the People's Party - dubbed "racist" by the Swiss president, a member of the centre-left Social Democratic Party - have the potential to damage Switzerland's reputation abroad?

C.C.: It's clearly not very helpful. If the Swiss are being accused of being racist, it clashes with the view of them as being highly moral.

But I'm not certain it will have a great impact. There is very little press coverage of Switzerland in Britain, so I doubt there will be much follow-up.

MOVIEHYPE: Transformers In IMAX

The mega-hit of the summer, Michael Bay's Transformers, has one last stop to make before it hits your flat-screen: your local IMAX theater. If, like me, you managed to resist the temptation of the first run, you are in for a treat, as the IMAX screen is the ne plus ultra of moviegoing these days, with a kicking sound system to match. Plus, an extra five minutes of footage has apparently been added to this release. Of course I won't be blowing my hard-earned (15? 20? Some ridiculous gouging amount of) bucks to have some no-neck sitting up my ace while I try to dig the flick -- only Beowulf and the promise of IMAX 3D will get me back into a public theater after my recent miserable experiences. But maybe you should...

Transformers movie Official Site (with two options to enter - Protect or Destroy. I wonder what percentage of our youthful film-fans pick Destroy)

LEGALHYPE: Breaking It Down Equitably

I was reading some "Odd News" a while back, and the following story reminded me of something I came up with a few months ago. First, the story from Reuters:

Man Chainsaws House In Two In Divorce Split
© 2007 Reuters

A 43-year-old German decided to settle his imminent divorce by chainsawing a family home in two and making off with his half in a forklift truck.

Police in the eastern town of Sonneberg said on Friday the trained mason measured the single-storey summer house -- which was some 8 meters (26 feet) long and 6 meters wide -- before chainsawing through the wooden roof and walls.

"The man said he was just taking his due," said a police spokesman. "But I don't think his wife was too pleased."

After finishing the job, the man picked up his half with the forklift truck and drove to his brother's house where he has since been staying.

I think that's pretty damn funny. Never mind all the clichées about German precision, although perhaps he should have divided the house into one large piece for his soon-to-be ex-wife and a smaller piece for himself. We'll leave that up to the judge.

Anyway, that story brought the following piece to mind. I wrote it in May 2006 after the news of Paul McCartney's divorce from Heather Mills broke. I was trying to get my head around how much that amount of money would be worth in everyday terms. At work I throw around figures like these on a regular basis, but when it's other people's money or a thoroughly analyzed investment opportunity, it's a little different.

USD 390 million for what, exactly?

"Lawyers believe the divorce would never be allowed to degenerate into a messy court case but they said McCartney's decision not to seal a pre-nuptial deal could cost him dear in a private settlement."
(quoting a Reuters story)

Let's crunch some numbers here...

If she gets just a quarter of his loot, she'd have $390 million. As the article stated, that's $1,875,000 million per week for the 4 years they were married.

What else could one get for that much money per week, spread over 4 years?:

The life of Riley in Brasil with a huge house on the beach, with several girls ready to go at all times (i.e., "Here was the cock. Take care of it."), partying every day, eating the best steak and seafood every night, and renting out the biggest clubs every night, with a Hummer limo convoy to and fro for you and all your friends - a rough estimate would be well under $250,000 a week.

A lap dancer at a high-class strip joint (the Mitchell Brothers Eros Center in San Francisco, for example) - $20 for 5 minutes = $40,320 per week. At a lower-class joint in a smaller town (e.g. Raider's Reef in Tucson), it's something less than half of that ($14,112).

A top-class hooker in one of the big American cities (no experience here, but this is what I've heard) - $5,000 for 12 hours = $70,000 per week.

I've heard stories of the idiots at Scores in New York City being surprised that their tabs were so high that their Black Amex cards exploded, but I've never been there (or to the similar-level places in Las Vegas), so do your own math for those. Speaking of Vegas, even after adding booze, drugs, fine dining, gambling, random helicopter rides, private jets, detox, and several trips to rehab, Heather Mills was way more expensive.

Come to think of it, comparing the prices of the lap dancers at the EC and the high-class hookers, we ought to save our money for the hookers; they're apparently way more cost effective!

P.S. - If you haven't heard Chris Rock's piece on divorce, you should. Here's the transcript. It's part of his "OJ, I Understand" routine.

Update: As it turns out, he "only" had to pay her 32 million pounds sterling (about 64.6 million bucks). Cheap! Get 'em while they're hot!